I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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