Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
