ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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