So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My dad is sitting where you rode me
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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