I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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