We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
