that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
