his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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