and i looked up. we had an audience...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
