i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
