Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
