Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize