Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
