the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
