then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
