I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
