remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
