u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
