If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
