Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
