Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
