So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
