At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
handjob tips. give me some.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize