I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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