Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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