Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
