so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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