I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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