Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
