Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
