I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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