that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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