her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
