you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
