ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
