why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
