I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The ass gains better be worth it
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