also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize