I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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