get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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