You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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