I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Randomize