I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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