i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I need a beard to bite.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
