i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
