THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
