tell your sister to shave her snatch
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
time to smoke my breakfast
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
