My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
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