this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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