mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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