id be glad to
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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