I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
