alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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