I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize