Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
