No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
as a side note pls kill me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
