Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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