I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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