You're my little dorito
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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