hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
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A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
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When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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