I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
