He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
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She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
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She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize