I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I can text with my tongue
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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