dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
