i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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