he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Randomize
